Robert Benjamin Flatau Kwesi Mercer
Robert was born at Queen Charlotte’s Hospital, West London on 2nd March 1975.
A healthy beautiful baby. Some of his early years, 1977 - 1979, were spent in Ghana.
He returned in January 1980 and settled in very well.
During the Summer, I took him to the Science Museum, and he wanted to spend the whole day there.
We also visited the Commonwealth Institute, and the London Planetarium. Another day spent at Madame Tussauds Museum was just as exciting for him.
He was on a different planet at the Museum of Moving Images (MOMI). He loved it. Rob was an ‘action man’, full of beans.
We went to the library and registered his name. We would visit every Saturday, for the children’s activities; and take selection of books home to read and return on regular basis. From the library, he would go for swimming lessons. He thoroughly enjoyed these sessions.
Cycling through Battersea Park and riding on the Ponies were just his highlights of the day.
Later, when he was a couple of years older, we visited the London dungeon, which he found a little scary.
We visited historical castles and other places of interest outside London. He loved the seaside, Brighton, and Ramsgate. He would get on the paddling boat, build sandcastles, and bury himself in the sand.
A day spent at Chessington world of adventure was so enjoyable and great fun.
I immediately applied to Ethelburga Primary School in Battersea, on our return from Ghana.
Although, he had missed the September admission, the previous year. He was promptly enrolled to join his class in February 1980. He was likable but a bit shy.
To make sure he settled in at school quickly and felt more comfortable, I invited all the children in his class to attend his fifth birthday on 2nd March the following month.
The parents were delighted and those who were available; and a couple of teachers, also turned up for the party.
We had met a lovely Ghanaian family, and their son Alan, who was also going to be five years, came along too.
We had a professional magician, to entertain the children. It was a memorable day. Everyone had a fantastic time and the laughter and the look on their sweet, little faces, smeared with ice creams said it all.
In 1985, his grandmother visited us from Ghana and stayed for nine months. It was such joy. Rob’s sister Davina was two years old, and they would take their grandma out into the snow, to show her what snow could be used for.
They would try to build a snow man and throw snowballs at each other.
Grandma was soft spoken and funny. She was wise, and very clever, and was fascinated about everything. She would happily join in with all the amusements; and asked them lots of questions.
Until one day she called out! “Naana! In fits of giggles, I think you should better take Kwasi and Akosua out for a walk, I am worn out, I need to lie down for a bit!” “Kwasi is like me – he loves chatting.” All of us burst out with laughter.
September 1980, Year two, followed quickly. One day, I collected Rob from school after work as usual.
On the way home he spotted something on the pavement. “Look mum!’’ “It looks like a bird!” “I think it is hurt!’’ We approached it – one of its wings was stretched out as it lay there motionless. “Can I pick it up?” He asked “Alright!” I answered. “Can I take it home?” Again, he asked. “What are you going to do with it?” I asked him. . . Stroking the bird, “I want to look after it he said!” “Go on then!” I agreed.
I gave him a cardboard and he made a little box and put the bird in it. He quickly ran downstairs and came back with twigs and some leaves. He made a nest and placed the box with its occupant on the balcony.
Every morning, he would get up very early to check-up on ‘Tits’, (the bird’s name now.) He would fill the water bowl and top up the bird feed. “Tits, I am going to school, you stay here – don’t go away! Ok?” “I will be back!” He would tell the Bird every morning.
After school Tits would be informed of his daily activities; and he would ask: “Tits! Are you getting better?” “Are you missing your Mum and friends?” “I will look after you, ok!”
I was certain the bird could understand him, as its cooing became more melodious.
Weeks passed; and after picking him up from school one day, I took him to Battersea Park, just across the road, for a bit of fun before going home.
When we got into our flat, he rushed to the balcony as he had done since we brought home our feathered friend.
Tits was not in its box; all the seed was gone. Panic stricken, “Tits where are you?” “Maybe, it had crawled into the room through the open window!” I spoke. We searched everywhere in vain.
Evening turned to night. We consoled ourselves and went to bed. Rob once again checked the balcony, he filled the water bowl and put more feed in the feeder in case Tits was hungry and came back.
“Lo and behold!” Rob rushed into my bedroom at the crack of dawn. “Wake up mum, quick, hurry!” Excitedly, he held my hand and pulled me along. Our friend was busy pecking away happily.
“Tits! “You are back- where did you go – did you see your mum, are you better?” The questions were endless. Tits was cooing and flapping its wings in response. It was lovely watching them – it was just like watching a ‘motion movie’.
Tits had its final journey and never returned. Naturally, we were both sad.
Well done! I hugged him. “I will miss Tits he said, but he can fly now!” With tiny tears in his eyes – “Bye Tits! See you again!” He sniffed.
For a child of six years, to demonstrate so much love and passion, was quite humbling and very touching indeed.
Aged eight, the girls had a ‘crush’ on him and would rush to him whenever I picked him up from school. They shouted! “Bye, bye, bye! Robert!” He would say bye under his breath without looking at anyone.
One day, I found him in the bathroom, in front of the mirror with an ‘eye scissors’ in hand. “What’s up Rob!” I asked? “I am cutting off my eye lashes!” He replied, in all seriousness. “Whatever for?” I asked again. “Because those girls say my lashes are long; and keep asking if they are real and want to touch them!” “Yes, you have beautiful lashes I said and smiled.”
He had a sense of humour failure then and retorted! “I don’t want ‘beautiful lashes!’ “It is not funny!” “Would you like it if you were teased, mum?” He asked. “Of course not!” I replied.
I looked at his face and he had skilfully trimmed all the lashes from one eye and the second eye was almost done.
Rob! “What have you done?” “Are you going to school looking like that?” “It’s alright, he said!” “Never mind, they will soon grow again!” I added.
After school, the girls rushed to me, – “Robert’s mum! “We are sorry we didn’t mean to tease Robert!” (Robert left me with the girls). “Alright I said, you must stay friends, but it is not nice to tease!” They rushed off, I caught up with Rob and we marched home. “Silly girls!” He remarked!”
He enjoyed school and took part in all school plays, sports, and other activities. He was very bright, articulate, and assertive.
He started secondary school at Westminster City School in 1986. He was enthusiastic and hard working. He became a member of the junior Church Choir, at St Margaret’s Cathedral in Westminster.
He liked music and played the keyboard with great enjoyment. He also loved football, a fun of Arsenal football, joking that he could do better in the goal post, whenever a goal was scored against Arsenal.
He found the students exchange trip to Germany interesting and educational. His host ‘parents’ invited him to visit them on holidays.
Later in Form five, his English teacher commented! “Robert has such an “exceptionally good command” of the ‘English language and debating skills.” “Teaching him is so refreshing and stimulating. Robert has a very sharp mind, never a dull moment in class!” I will miss him! He concluded.
He attended Stowford College, in Sutton, Surrey. A talented Artist. Creativity came naturally to him.
He also attended South Thames College in Wandsworth, South London.
Following that, he went to Derby University in Derbyshire. He was beginning to show sighs of fatigue.
However, he was a very determined and ambitious young man. His motto was:
“Never give up!” Followed by his catchphrase: “Are you having a laugh!” Then, the broadest of smiles!
After a year at Derby University, he moved to South Bank University in London, to be closer to home and family.
He worked hard against all odds. He graduated with BSc Honours, in Product Design.
Rob was unable to attend the graduation ceremony as by this time, he had become quite unwell, having one Sickle Cell Crisis after another.
“It would have been nice to wear the ‘Cap and Gown’ you know, mum!” He later said. Such modesty and dignity.
We were disappointed. However, typically of him he joked! “Well! I am still here; and I did what I wanted to do!” “Thanks Mum!” --- “You did it Rob!” “You are a very brave young man!” We hugged gently as he flinched due to pain, but nevertheless, he managed a smile.
Slowly, he became riddled with pain, but would always bounce back and his infectious smile never left his face. He was remarkably independent and humble.
When he felt a little better, he worked with his dad at Top Express International travel agent, in Streatham, South London, for a while.
He was very keen to connect with relatives in Ghana and took a temporally job with a Graphic Design company in Accra for a period.
Shortly after his return to London, he became ill, and he was admitted to hospital.
A young man of courage, and integrity, determined, and confident. He was caring, loving and friendly. Very calm, gentle in manner, and refined. He was resilient.
Despite his physical disability, he would make every effort to assist disadvantaged youths in his community, by teaching them to play musical instruments, sketching; and to learn different skills.
He enjoyed travelling to visit relatives, and went to Germany, Holland, and USA.
We had day trips to the Seaside and the Isle of Wight a couple of times; and visited several places of interest in the UK.
His hips and other joints gradually became more painful and difficult for him to walk; and he was fitted with clutches. When we arrived home, looking a little despondent, he turned to me and said: “Look at me mum!” “I am not yet forty – but I look and feel like a ninety-year-old man!”
Trying to hide my tears, he put his arms around me. “Sorry mum he apologised!” “No, don’t be!” “It is my fault for passing Sickle Cells on to you; and I am so sorry!” “You will get better” I reassured him, as much as trying to convince myself.
“I am going to take driving lessons, so that I do not totally become dependent on you in a wheelchair!” He joked, gallantly, and we both smiled.
Sometime later, having passed his test, he gave me a lift in his car. “Rob! “You are going too fast – slow down I shrieked!” “Are you alright mum?” He asked. “No! I am not, because you are speeding!” I replied!
“You are kidding, are you not?” “Do you want the Police to stop me for ‘slowing down’ the traffic?” “This is a 50 mile per hour zone, and I am doing around 40, for you!” “Well, you are still driving too fast!” I protested!
He said nothing but I could see the grin on his face. Needless to say – we got home in one piece and had a good laugh.
Another time, I was driving him to the Airport; and he called out! “Mum! “Yes Rob!” “Don’t you think you are speeding?” He asked. “We are on a 70miles an hour zone!” I pointed to the signs as if he did not know.
He smiled and cheekily said: “That’s funny!” “What is?” I enquired!”
Mum! “I thought ‘you’ are allowed to do 10 miles an hour – regardless of the speed limits?”
It suddenly hit me, remembering the day that he had been driving at 40mph, which I considered to be too fast; and here I was doing 70mph. “Ok! Rob, point taken, “I take it all back!” I said, and we had giggles.
Some days, you could see and feel the pains and frustrations in his eyes. But he neither complained nor felt sorry for himself. “I am born with this and must get on with my life!” He used to say.
He was passionate about medical science and research, and he extensively researched on Stem Cell Transplant. He strongly believed that there would be a ‘break through’ and hope, for the future for Stem Cells Transplant, for people with debilitating medical conditions like himself.
Unfortunately, his hopes, visions, and expectations of becoming one of the donors of Stem Cell Transplant, did not materialise, sadly, until after his demise.
Robert had a charming personality and character. He was very sincere, upright, and honest. A likable, decent young man. He was compassionate, kind, humble, with a great sense of humour.
He was an outstanding person of integrity. He was conscientious, morally principled. Dedicated and committed in his ideas and beliefs. His good qualities, fill me with gentle pride, joy, and great sadness. He is remembered always.
Although, his life had been short lived, I am forever thankful, to the Almighty God, for bringing him into my life. Rob was a great person, loving, and much loved.
His legacy will live on.
“Son, we miss you every day”
“Ten years, already?”
“You are at a better place!”
REST IN ETERNAL PEACE
+TO GOD BE THE GLORY+